...Dlatha's Story... 

I was born and raised in a little town (population of about 5000).  From the time I can remember, we always scrapped by, wasting nothing.  When I was 8 dad introduced us to my older half brother and sister, which was awesome at first.  Then my half brother started molesting me.  When he was caught doing it he and I both were punished, even though I had no clue what he was doing and was afraid to speak because he told me not to.  This went on until I was 16 and naturally, when your punished for it once you dare not tell on that person again.  

When I was 12 my mom gave birth to my baby sister.  Naturally being the baby she always got her way, which I expected.  What I didn't expect was to be put down and treated like a servant.  My mom had to have a herna operation done not long after my sister was born which put her down for another 6 wks.  During this time a family friend would come and sit with mom till I got home from school.  She would tell mom how she cleaned this and cooked that and such.  Yet, when I got home from school, I would have to clean, cook, take care of the baby, and anything else that needed done, on top of homework.  When mom was well enough to get out and about again.  She would tell everyone how lazy I was and how I wouldn't help around the house.  All lies, but naturally, I was told I was the liar that I didn't ever do anything.  

At 16 I started working at a local food court.  I worked long hours and save money to purchase a car.  After telling me that they would help me get a car if I worked out the money, they backed out.  I was 21 before I got a license or a car.  Although I wasn't permitted to drive it I had one.

Through school, I was the "doer"  I helped anyone and everyone with anything and everything I could.  I was quiet and kept to myself unless helping someone.  Never was allowed to go out with friends, was pretty much sheltered.  

At 18 I thought I had found the love of my life.  UNTIL, we were married.  I ended up pregnant right away.  I stuck around in hopes of things getting better.  I had hoped that the mental anguish would stop and I could live my "fairy tale" life.  That didn't happen.  While still "blue" after the birth of my child he had me believing that I was worthless.  No one wants a woman who has a child already.  There was no make up, no nice clothing, no nothing.  23 months after the birth of my first child, I was informed that we WERE HAVING another baby.  To scared to leave, I stayed and gave birth to my son.  After this birth the mental abuse became more severe.  I was finally (and still fight it) in a shell.  My way of escaping him.  I began to drink to get away from it (when my kids were gone).  Things went downhill fast.  The night before I got the nerve to leave, he told me that my family hated me and that I was stupid to think that I would ever make it on my own.  I threatened to live in my car and so he threatened to call child protection too.  I called dad the next day and he told me to get down here and he would take care of Jamie (my ex).  Jamie naturally fed them whatever they wanted to hear.  I started going to college not long after leaving him, and completely 16 credit hours.  I also paid for ALL of my divorce, not asking for a thing except my name and my freedom from him.  And my kids of course.  Now, he complains if he has to purchase essential things for them.

Not long after I left I also found David (My current husband).  I moved into an apartment paid all my bills got the kids what they needed, and David would visit on weekends.  My ex of course didn't like that so we ended up having to put a protection order against him for threatening my life.  He says he would have done it too, all because he didn't like to see me doing things on my own and being happy with someone else.  David eventually moved in and my third child was born.  We moved out into a trailer not long after, that started falling apart.  The landlord refused to fix it and was upset because I walked off and left it sitting.  I couldn't see paying him 400/month for a place that my kids was going to end up hurt in.  From there we went to where David is from.  His parents gave us their OLD trailer which was falling apart too.  During all this time with David, found out he was diabetic and bi polar and a few other mental disorders such as that.  He is taking meds for it and is doing really well.  He works everyday that he is offered to work, but his pay each week isn't enough to barely make ends meet.  But we deal with it as we can.  At Christmas 08 we seperated mutually agreed on.  A few weeks later we were back together and living at my parent's house because the trailer of his parents had finally fallen enough that it was not suitable for our kids.  

So now, we are doing our best to get moved out.  It's hard to do when there is so much money needed to do so.  Everyday we face the constant "pushing" for us to get out.  It is getting to a point to where it's even effecting David.  I have lived on nothing most of my life, and can handle doing it the rest of my life, it's a struggle that is worth it but only if my family(my husband, kids and myself) are happy.  And right now that's not the case.  We are all so tired of dealing with the constant crap thrown at us.  Only hoping for a day when we can get out on our own and be a happy family again.